Friday, January 22, 2010

Bible Study


On her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate. It’s in the Bible - end of argument!

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how best to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wriggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.
James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia


David said...

And I thought maybe I should convert from the Methodist Church!

Evelyn said...

I've always thought I should sit down and look up all of these. Glad someone else has done it.

Pete M said...

Hi Evelyn,
Yes, what are you going to adhere to and what are you not? Fun with Bible verses.

Hershey said...

Thanks, Pete. This repl;y to Dr. Laura is going around. This is about the third time someone has sent it to me. Professor Kaufman also could have asked whether practicing adulterers and homosexuals should be put to death in obedience to Leviticus 20:10 & 13. If that command were followed, it would solve the problem of overpopulation. Hershey

John said...

And, oh does she ever need special education.
I'd seen this list before, but never with regard to something Schlesinger said, so I especially like the author's clever combo.

James said...

Hi Peter:
Tuche'. This is definitely a "keeper", so true.
I hope you are well in the land of the Golden Girls.
The get together for us Gay folk here at St Peters was certainly a blessing. Several of us, including myself will be writing the Lenten Meditations this year. And I will be telling my story at one of the June Adult Forums. How exactly I am going about this I am unsure, but Kadje and Thelma should be sources of aid and inspiration.
I'm sure I'll see you at Easter, be well and watch out for any renegade crocodiles, especially any dressed in red Gucci slippers!

Ann said...

I have another question. At the beginning of Leviticus, several
chapters are devoted to how to do the sacrifices: burnt offering, sin offering and guilt offering. If my neighbors never do any
sacrifices is that an
abomination? If it is, can I confiscate their home without
breaking the commandment about coveting my neighbors home? Signed,
Need To Know Real Quick
I love this.... if those idiots need to focus on one verse from the bible why don't they stick to "Do justice, love mercy
> and walk humbly with your Lord"
> (that's for Dr Laura Schlesinger, observant Orthodox Jew; for Christians
"Love thy neighbor" would work.)

Pete M said...

Yes, these "commandments" cater to our worse instincts.